


15x03 Coda - The Path to Paradise, The Road to Ruin

by FunnyWings



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 15x03 coda, Dean's POV, Episode: s15e03 The Rupture, M/M, post that destiel break up that just happened jesus christ
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 09:49:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21195683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FunnyWings/pseuds/FunnyWings
Summary: Cas is wrong. There is more to say. Dean's just not equipped to say it.Excerpt:Cas has left. What else is new?Violent impulse simmers, seething beneath anger. Seething between resentment and wretched longing and fear. It’s over, he tells himself. I’m free. I’m free. I’m free.And then: Idiot. There’s no such thing.





	15x03 Coda - The Path to Paradise, The Road to Ruin

**MW**

Dean traces his mother’s initials with a fingernail, the sharp scraping sound sending chills down his spine. He wishes he could scrape his own skin off and carve into his bones, the way he’d stripped souls in the pit. There is an art to pain, he remembers. God is a piss poor artist, but what else is new?

There are words behind words, and words behind looks, and words left unspoken. There is a heaviness in the air of a home that has become a graveyard. One more loss and all’s the better. Dean’s life has been a series of fresh starts. From school to school, from town to town, from day to day as his body renewed and was torn into and renewed, from world to world, from bad to worse. From this ending to that.

Cas has left. What else is new?

Violent impulse simmers, seething beneath anger. Seething between resentment and wretched longing and fear. It’s over, he tells himself. I’m free. I’m free. I’m free.

And then: Idiot. There’s no such thing.

This song and dance isn’t new, never was. Dean is just a man, hell-mad and heavenstruck and rubbed raw from grief. What is love, what is trust, what is family compared to that? Even Eurydice called out so Orpheus would look back.

It’s easy to keep running. The real horror is waiting for him when he rests. Oh god, he does not want to rest.

What else is new?

He takes out his phone and types out a message letter by letter, his heart thudding harder. Three words, and it takes all of him to do it. One last favor for his fate-cursed, foolhardy best friend.

_ Don’t come back. _

Because the truth is the story’s never done. And, if he’s honest with himself, would Dean spare one man for the fate of the world? Could he do what Sam had done, if it was the only thing to be done? Would he twist the knife himself, if the angel asked? Exchange graceful death for one more useless win on the endless road to the ever-impending end?

Better that Cas isn’t there. Better Dean never has to know.

**Author's Note:**

> See people get mean when the chips are down.


End file.
